Busy? Who me?

I would love to be keeping up with the blog right now.  But have you seen my calendar lately?

I'm a little busy.

Confessions of a Loving Wife

The Waffle celebrated his 40th birthday this year.  While I have been teasing him for quite some time about being old, I wanted to be honoring, not mean, for this special occasion.  I decided a long time ago that there would be no "Over the Hill" decorations, no black balloons, and no gag gifts.  You see, I am younger than the Waffle, and I know that what goes around comes around.  I don't know how I will be feeling when I am preparing to hit the big 4-0, so I wanted to go easy on him.

The Saturday before his birthday, we had plans to be in a Euchre tournament with a group of friends from church.  I decided to go ahead and use this opportunity to celebrate with Brett.

Here's the cake:

And here are the candles:

WOW!

Now, for the confession part.  After a very busy weekend, complete with euchre party and cake, we started a very busy week.  Monday came and went.  Tuesday came and went.  Wednesday (the big day) came, and almost went, without me even wishing the Waffle a Happy Birthday!  Can you believe it?  Sometimes our lives are in such a routine, and we have stuff going on ~ Scouts, sports, homework, Bible study, etc. ~ that doing something special mid-week is out of the question.  The REALLY bad part?  I didn't even buy him a card!  Ugh!  Good thing we gave up keeping score in our relationship a long time ago.  Or I would really have some points to be making up for!

Pasta on Parenting #3

How old were you when you first kissed a boy? (Or girl – don’t want to exclude the guys reading out there!)

I’m not talking about your first real kiss, or your first French kiss. Just your first kiss. Whether it was a peck on the check, or a lip smacker – how old were you?

I was 6. First grade. On the playground, behind the swings. Of course, someone else told on us, and we got in “trouble.” I don’t even remember his name! (Wonder if he remembers mine?)

Tonight we were eating dinner in front of the TV tonight (yes, we really do that), and I don’t recall exactly how we got on the subject, but the subject became kissing. The question was: Have you ever kissed a girl? This question was directed at our 9 year old. And he was WAY too embarrassed to answer. I’m not sure if he was embarrassed just to talk about it, or because he actually has kissed a girl and didn’t want us to know. I just know he was embarrassed. In a REALLY big way. Hmmmmm.

As a mom, I’m wondering if I missed something? The Waffle’s been telling me for some time that this day was coming. I think in my “please don’t grow up” mind, I must have been ignoring the fact that this day has finally arrived.

He never did answer “Yes” or “No” to the original question, but the real shocker came when I switched from asking him if he’d ever kissed a girl to who it was that he had kissed. His answer? “Guess!” No Way! I don’t know who was laughing the hardest: Hayden, me or the Waffle. As the boys were preparing to leave the house, I pulled the Waffle aside and gave him strict instructions: “You have to find out who he kissed!”

Oh dear. What have I gotten myself into with this parenting thing?

A "Pasta on Parenting" Not Me, Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

The kids are growing up right before my very eyes. Quickly, so quickly, they change and grow. I find myself having thoughts that contradict each other (Spaghetti). “Oh, look at her dressed up so cute and trendy,” I think as I hear myself say, “Here, honey, wear the dangly earrings with that outfit.” Me, encourage my little girl to grow up too fast? Never. Ever. Nope, Not Me!

Then, not 48 hours later, getting her out of her bed this morning, I hear myself say, “Bring your blanky and mom will snuggle with you in the chair while you wake up,” as I cuddle, snuggle and rock her, like she was 7 months old, rather than 7 years old. Me, try to keep my baby little forever? No way. Never. Not Me!

And as our eldest gets older, and we notice his growing interest in more things “guy,” we have tried to encourage some of those man-ish tendencies. Here’s the list just from this weekend. Learn to build a fire in the fireplace, then, later, after the fire is going, add a log. Take out the trash. Go to a pro basketball game with Dad and our buddy Josh. Watch football on Sunday afternoon. See – guy stuff. He’s growing up. So, when the Waffle and I discussed the idea of letting him walk from school to the YMCA, I didn’t feel a little sadness in my gut, thinking about the fact that he really isn’t so little anymore, thinking that, yes, I DO have to let him learn how to do these grown up type things. Nope, Not Me.

And, on Sunday evening, when he started to melt down from being over-tired from all the guy stuff, I did not allow him to curl up on the pew next to me at church service, put his coat over his head and take a little nap - like he was 9 months old, rather than 9 years old. Nope, Not Me!

I also did not feel a rush of love and gratitude when the Waffle leaned over to tell me, “You’re a good Mom.” Because I was not feeling just a tinge of guilt about letting a 9 year old sleep during church, rather than pay attention to the lesson. Nope, Not Me!

We all have “Not Me” moments when parenting our children. Thank you for letting me share mine with you today.

Happy Monday everyone!

"Not Me" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It’s been a few weeks since my last “Not Me Monday” post. Trust me, it’s not because I don’t have dirt to tell, I think it’s because it takes a lot of effort to make that “dirt” sound clever, funny and interesting. So much pressure! Self inflicted, of course, because remember, I’m not living up to your expectations! I’ve come to realize that the expectations I have the hardest time with are my own – that's Spaghetti for ya!

Oh, alright already – here we go:

While emptying out the dishwasher this weekend, it wasn’t me who used her fingernail to scrape the dried up, baked on food from the edge of the soup ladle, and then proceeded to put it away without even rinsing it. Nope, Not me!

It also wasn’t me who saw a spider on the window blind in my daughter’s room, and just looked the other way because nobody else saw it and I didn’t feel like getting a tissue and killing the little eight-legged creep. Nope, Not me!

It isn’t me who is hoping that the new had-to-get-it-for-a-school-project “pet” Anole in our home doesn’t last long and is secretly considering Anole murder in order to make this wish come true. Nope, Not me!

And it wasn’t me who took a guilt-free 3 hour long afternoon nap yesterday and had absolutely no problem at all going to bed like normal at 11 pm last night. Nope, Not me!

Happy Monday everyone!

"Not Me" Monday

So I was reading the blog of a co-worker, and I found this link on her blog.

I. LOVE. IT. SO. MUCH!!!!!!

I have recently decided that too much of my life has been about living up to other people’s expectations of me. Sometimes the expectations others have of you can be encouraging, motivating, even empowering. But so much more often, they can be the monkey on your back (you know, like the Capital One commercial . . .)

Anyway, Not Me Monday is a way for me to say, “I don’t live up to anyone’s expectations but my own, and I’m not afraid to say it!” Imperfect? Yes, I am, and “Not Me Monday” is my way of proving it. Ready? Here we go . . .

I didn’t gain 3 pounds this weekend because I shamelessly overindulged ALL weekend long: at Abuelo’s and Cheesecake Factory on Friday, at a pitch-in dinner where I ate way too much dessert on Saturday, and on Sunday with leftover pitch-in dessert (a la mode), Culver’s Frozen Custard and cheese curds, AND fresh chips and salsa with sour cream. Nope, not me!

I didn’t buy myself a new, sure to be awesome, by my favorite author, sappy love story book to read, nevermind the almost 2 dozen other books that I already own and haven’t yet read to completion. Nope, not me!

I also didn’t sit and read said book for over an hour yesterday afternoon when at least a half dozen loads of clean and dry laundry sat in baskets around the living room getting wrinkled while waiting to be folded. Nope, not me!

I didn’t get just a *tinge* of baby envy while playing with the cutest 7 month old I know, little miss Naomi, this weekend at the pitch-in dinner, even though I have told my husband repeatedly that I no longer get the urge to have more children. Nope, not me!

And, finally, I didn’t wish that my little one would wake up this morning with a random fever that was just high enough that she couldn’t go to school so that I could call in sick and crawl in bed to snuggle the day away with her. Nope, not me!

So, what do you think? Like it? I. LOVE. IT. And, if you don’t like it, please don’t tell me because I have decided that I am no longer living up to your expectations. I like it, and therefore, I will be doing it again. YEP, that’s ME!

The Good Scout Award

Today, a man in Lafayette was given a very high honor, the "Good Scout" Award. That man is Joe Bumbleburg.

Today, a mother and a father were given a very high honor, to be the parents of a "good scout" of our own! That Scout is our son, Hayden.

We were asked several weeks ago if we would consider allowing Hayden to come during the school day to the Union Ballroom at Purdue to speak at this special event. The event serves as a fundraiser for the Tecumseh District of the Sagamore Council of the Boy Scouts of America. So, we said, "Sure, why not?" We know that Hayden can speak in front of a group, after all, he's been doing speeches since 1st grade. A man from the Council came over one evening and interviewed Hayden. He asked all sorts of questions about what Hayden likes to do, and also what he likes about being in Cub Scouts. After the interview, he wrote up a short speech for Hayden to practice.

And practice he did.

And speak he did.

At a podium.

With a microphone.

On stage.

In front of a room of 150 + people!

This picture doesn't do justice to the number of people who were there.

I don't know what I was expecting, but when I arrived and saw the room and the stage, it really sunk in . . . this is a big deal. Then I saw the people who started arriving: mayors, past mayors, state representatives, well known lawyers from established firms in town, property owners and managers (like rental properties), etc. Overall, some fairly important people in our area, to say the least.

I can't even begin to tell you how many people stopped us on the way out to say how well Hayden had done, congratulating him, thanking him for speaking, and telling him how they, as adults, couldn't have done as well! He was the only child on the program to speak. His talk lasted about 3 minutes or so. He had great volume, appropriate pauses, and did a good job making eye contact with the audience. I knew he could do it, but when grown ups say that they could NOT have done it, now that is saying something, don't you think? What an honor, for both us and for him!

Today's event was a big success, for Mr. Bumbleburg, for Hayden, and for Scouts - over $14,000 was raised as a result of this luncheon today! Amazing!

He was amazing. And we were so proud.

Here is a photo of his name in the program.

He also got a little award of his own to take home. How special is that???

Hayden had his picture taken with Lafayette Mayor Tony Roswarski.

And also with the Good Scout Honoree, Joe Bumbleburg.

A Scout is prepared, so here is Hayden practicing before the luncheon began.

During the luncheon, I was trying to video tape and take photos, and wipe my tears, too (Spaghetti), so I didn't get the entire speech recorded. I only got bits and pieces. I tried to upload it, but couldn't get it to work. Need to work on it. I will try again later - so check back!

Did I mention that we are so proud of him???

First Day of School 2009

Today was the first day of school. Seems early, but, then again, I always think it does! The kids were ready. For me, getting ready to go back to school doesn't seem as exciting as a parent as it did when I was a kid. I'm not sure why, and I really hope that my lack of excitement doesn't affect their excitement. (That's spaghetti talking - you hear it?)

Anyway, we dropped off supplies last Friday - A big "THANK YOU" to the Lafayette School Corporation. It was so nice not to have the hassle of getting all that stuff to school this morning. And I bet it was good for the teachers, too. Last night it was early to bed, and early to rise this morning. The kids were in a good mood, we made it to the bus stop on time, and off they went.

Last year, Mallory was Little Miss Drama almost every morning, with the kisses and the hugs and the frown face and fake tears about leaving mama's side. Today - she climbed right on the bus and never turned around! Do you think she's outgrowing me? Doesn't she still need her mama? (Uh-oh, here comes spaghetti again . . .) When I picked them up this afternoon, it was more of the same! She didn't run to greet me when I walked into the after-care program. I practically had to DRAG her away from her friends! Oh dear, it's all downhill from here.

Hayden, on the other hand, was ready to see me and also ready to go home when I got there. But, he barely kissed me this morning at the bus stop. Maybe we should start doing that before we leave the house . . . Hmmmm, something to consider, mom. I think this is going to be a good year with his new teacher. He has set the ground rules, offered incentives, and asked for their input about the school year. Three for three, Mr. Cole. Good job!

Don't they look awesome in their "1st Day of School" outfits?

(No, Mallory's hair is not permed - she slept in braids to get that look!)

I, for one, am really looking forward to it. There is just something about learning that satifies the soul. And watching my kids learn new concepts, conquer new skills and gain new accomplishments is very satisfying and rewarding. It's going to be an awesome year!

Pasta on Parenting

Being a parent is both a job and a joy. I have a magnet at my desk at work that says "Parenthood - The only job that's REALLY full time." How true is this statement?? Parenting never goes away. Some days this makes me mad because I just want to be me - all by myself. I don't want to have to take care of everyone else's needs before I can attend to my own. Some days this makes me exhausted because the 'tending to everyone else's needs' just never seems to end. Ever. No, really, I mean E-V-E-R. Then there are some days when this makes me feel important because I have people who depend on me for their needs. Needs such as, "Mom, where is my ____?" (Fill in the blank with any item that is lost, misplaced, or maybe even in plain sight.) And some days this statement makes me feel sad because I can't really be with them full time like I wish I could. And then there are days when I am so happy about this statement because I know that parenting truly is the most important job I have.

I have had some recent milestones as a mother - you know - the little jabs in the arm that you feel when you see positive results and progress in your children. The one that comes to mind most easily is Hayden's maturity. Yes, I know that because he is male that he will, by definition, be immature until he is about 30 years old, but I did say progress, not completion! He has been showing maturity is several areas, but mostly what it boils down to is respect and consideration for others. He's thinking more about the world (and the people) around him and less about himself and his own feelings. It's wonderful to catch him in the middle of it. I sorta stand back, and go "Wow - he's really growing up!" It's awesome.

And Mallory (who will always be my little girl, my baby) is getting ready to start 2nd grade. She's a little social butterfly, she's a space cadet, and she loves attention, but I'm starting to notice something unique and interesting about her. She not only loves to receive attention, she also loves to give attention. She doesn't care who she talks to or plays with. It doesn't matter if they are much younger or much older than her. It doesn't matter if they don't look the same or talk the same. She does not show preference or avoidance. She is just as happy to play the 3 year old little boy who lives next door as she is to spend the afternoon with a grown up. And to me, that is amazing. That she hasn't developed a sense of who is different from her.

So, today I feel successful as a parent. Because even though they drive me crazy when they argue with, pick on and nag each other CONSTANTLY, they also make me so proud when I hear them say encouraging, kind or thoughtful things to the people around them. I honestly believe that the mark we make on the world will be made on the souls of the people with whom we interact. I try to work on myself and my "mark" every day - and I'm seeing that in the kids, too! Hooray!

"Mom, I'm the Tin Man!!!"

On Hayden's last day of school, the second graders had a musical performance of The Wizard of Oz. There was a note sent home saying that the children should either wear green or wear nice school clothes. That morning Hayden came out wearing gray warm up pants and a gray t-shirt. So, I got out the note to remind him what he was supposed to be wearing. This was the response I got (to be read with the appropriate tone of an 8 year old son to his mother, who obviously knows nothing), "Mom, I'm the Tin Man!" Of course, the Tin Man wouldn't wear green, he would wear gray! How silly of me.

This quick little 30 second interaction with my 8 year old did, however, cause my spaghetti like tendencies to flare up a bit. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, click here. Where, I wondered, have I been that I didn't even know that my son had a solo in the second grade musical performance? I had not even made plans to BE at the musical because the week prior I had been at the class play performance (Fractured Fairy Tales). The Waffle was going to see this one, but not mom, nope, not this time. HOW on earth could I have missed this? Is this what the next 10 years are going to be like? He doesn't willingly tell me things, and I must not be asking the right questions because I didn't know the information that I needed to know on this one! Spaghetti knows deep down that it will be ok, I was just having a weak moment. Check out these photos - and the video!

The kids prepare for their debut performance.

Front row - all in GRAY!

The Waffle said the choreography was very good.

Here's the video. We are so proud of him!!

He's not grown up yet

As the mother of a young boy, there are often times when I think to myself, "He's growing up too fast."  I still remember him lying peacefully asleep on my chest as a newborn.  I remember all too vividly the first words and first steps and first day of school.  I have so many fond memories of him and his baby sister - he loves her SO much.  He's 8 - almost 9 years old already.  We have only 9 or 10 more years with him at home.  Halfway done already.  These thoughts occasionally crowd my mind and make me happy and sad and nostalgic and worried and excited all at the same time (spaghetti, of course).  

And then there are moments like last night that make me realize that life is not going too fast. It's just the right speed.  And, he's not grown up yet.  He's still my little boy that needs his mommy's love and comfort.  I never want these moments to end.  

I picked him up from after school care, car packed with all the gear to go to baseball practice.  We ate leftover pizza in the car on the way from the school to the ball park.  (He was trying to multi-task and play his Nintendo DS at the same time.)  We got to the field and he practiced for 2 hours, then back into the car for another trip across town to Wednesday night bible class.  As we got in the car, he asked me to get his game case out of his school bag.  He keeps his DS games in a little plastic case that is smaller than a credit card -it holds 4 games.  We looked in his bag, but couldn't find it.  So, when we got across town, we looked all through the trunk and still found no game case.  He started to get upset and worried.  He went to his bible class, and while he did, I drove back across town to the school yard where he had been playing outside when I arrived almost 3 hours earlier.  I was hoping maybe it had fallen out of his bag into the grass or something. I don't know what I was thinking.  Of course, I didn't find it.  So, I drove back across town to the church building, just in time for him to be done with class.  I broke the news to him:  I had searched the car, I had searched the school yard.  It's lost.  Or stolen.  Who knows.  

That is when the moment happened.  I witnessed with my own eyes that he is not grown up yet. Because he cried.  There were people everywhere, even kids his own age.  And he still cried - big tears rolling down his cheeks.  He was so upset at the thought that 4 of his best and favorite games were gone.  Just like that.  My heart broke for him.  I felt a loss, too.  That was about $130 worth of games in that case!  But my loss was nothing in comparison to his.  So, I put my arm around him and let him cry.  Let him mourn the loss.  It took a while.  I told him to keep up hope that maybe someone found them and will return them.  Eventually he started to come around, and then started playing a game (one was still in the DS).  

On the way home I happened to remember that I thought I saw the case on the living room table that morning.  As we got closer to home, I was more sure that the case was on the table all this time.

And . . . sure enough . . . it was!

There wasn't as much joy and happiness and there was grief and sorrow.  It must have been silent relief.  The games are found, the crisis is over, but the memory of my little boy's pain will remain.  As a pleasant reminder that he's not grown up yet. 

More on Waffles and Spaghetti . . .

So, after I started this blog, I decided that it would be good to actually read the Waffles and Spaghetti book, you know, so I know what I am talking about! It has turned out to be a pretty good book. Of course, I’m not finished yet (because who really has time to read?), but the things I have learned so far are right on. Here is my favorite quote so far: “A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.” **LOVE IT!** It has taken us nearly 18 years of knowing each other, but the Waffle and I have finally reached the point where we don’t argue anymore. We’re much better at communicating now than we ever were in the past. Yes, we still disagree, and we’re not afraid to tell each other that we disagree. It’s just much more calm now. And, more importantly, we’re not always trying to get the other to agree with us. We have come to the understanding (should I say “I” instead of “we”???) that just because our spouse doesn’t agree with us, that doesn’t mean he/she is wrong! Ahhhh . . . maturity.
So, as we approach our 12th anniversary, I am happy to say that our marriage is AWESOME and that we are happier now than we were when we started out. There are many reasons for this, but here are just a few . . . Sending me flowers for no reason . . . Knowing that it’s best to let me sleep a little longer on Saturdays . . . Buying me a book instead of chocolate . . . Helping me with my goals to live a healthier lifestyle . . . Being a great Dad . . . Cooking breakfast for the kids every morning . . . Overcoming our weaknesses together . . . I could go on, but this blog needs to end. So, you probably won’t be surprised when I tell you that I am absolutely 100% looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him. Even if it means I have to learn how to understand Waffles. After all, he is pretty good at understanding Spaghetti.

We got them all!

Our smashed penny collection has almost doubled!  Last Friday we were able to collect ALL of the pennies at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago.  And we found out that there were actually 29 different designs there rather than 28.  The collector's book had a unique penny on the front of it that wasn't anywhere else in the museum.  The shiny copper pennies look awesome compared to the ones we were using when we first started our collection.  (It makes me wish we could go back and start over!)  I'd like to upload a photo slideshow, so that I can share many of our pictures from the trip.  We'll see if I can figure that out soon!  

Our trip took all day.  We left at 7 am and didn't get home until midnight. After the museum closed, we drove over to Boling Brook for a leisurely stroll through IKEA.  Note to self: next time no kids and come with a list! The place is just as big as everyone says it is, and BOY! did I get some good ideas for organizing our home.  I love this kitchen!  

  

I would love to demolish our current kitchen and have one of these. But, as spaghetti would go, then I would have to pull up the carpet (to expose the beautiful oak floors underneath), re-do the bathroom (complete with heated floor tile), build a deck , re-side the exterior, build a new garage (3 car, of course). . . you see, it just never stops!

We have decided that Chicago is WAY too close to not go back sometime soon and take in some of the other attractions there. The kids had a great time, and so did we.

And so it begins . . .

Here it is, folks. The first post on my new blog. I must say, it's not something I ever thought I would do, but I learned something the other day. While reading some posts on another 30 something mom's blog, I was relieved, comforted and not so . . . alone. It was at that moment that I realized the value that so many before me have already discovered. In a culture where we are so busy, so transient, so electronic, blogging is a way to stay connected.

About the Title . . .

I heard about this book called Men Are Like Waffles Women Are Like Spaghetti (by Bill and Pam Farrell), and although I now own it, I have not yet read it. BUT, I do understand the concept behind it: Men are able to process their lives (and their emotions) in little boxes, much like the boxes of a waffle. Each box, being separated by this 'wall.' Women, on the other hand, are more like a plate of spaghetti. Each individual strand being one 'item' (or emotion) in their life that is unwillingly intertwined with all the other strands of spaghetti on the plate.

So, the gist of it is this: your kid is struggling in school. The teacher sends home a note and the principle has requested a meeting. Father: Ok. So there's a problem. How do we fix it? Mother: A problem? What? How bad it is? It must be because I'm working too much. Or because he's not challenged enough. Or because he sensed the tension between his father and I for 30 minutes two weeks ago on Monday. Or maybe it's because I didn't breast feed him long enough. Or maybe it's because I wasn't breast fed. You get me? One simple little event intertwines itself all around your entire life and absolutely, positively CONSUMES you until the issue is resolved. This phenomenon, however, does not happen with Father. He meets with the principle, goes back to work, comes home and does homework with the kids, and wants a little lovin' later that night. Waffles. Not Spaghetti. I am like Spaghetti . . . and if you don't believe me now, just keep reading and get to know me a little bit!